Cultivating love: The Grass is Greener Where You Water It
Lately, I’ve been answering a lot of relationship questions on Quora. It’s an interesting forum where those who need answers to their myriad questions can find them in a supportive community. There is one scenario that pops up repeatedly and here is my a valuable takeaway.
The grass is greener where you water it!
Someone writes it. Usually a woman. She shares that her husband has been having an affair and has left for the other woman. After some time together, he decides that he misses his family and his wife and wants to come back home. The woman seeking advice wants to know whether or not she should take him back.
For this blog, I’m less interested in exploring whether or not she should accept this man back, and more interested in the man ping-ponging back and forth between these two women.
When the relationship he is involved in gets more mundane, then he looks for his thrills elsewhere. When that turns into what he left, the old situation looks more appetizing, and so on.
A lot of people experience this in their relationships
Married men are not the only ones who experience this constant need for excitement and something different. Women are being heavily influenced by social media. They look at relationships where they perceive the woman experiencing a luxurious lifestyle at the hands of the man she is with and feel they should be living the same way. However, they might not be with the wealthiest man who can provide some of these experiences or purchases. It’s only a matter of time before they jump ship to find the man and the relationship they believe they deserve.
The reality is that relationships require work
Just because you have work at it, does not mean that it is not meant to be or that the person you are with is not a good fit for you. Saying that relationships require work does not diminish their beauty or significance. Rather, it highlights the effort necessary to forge and maintain a strong and enriching connection.
Ways to water your relationship
When you water your relationship, you will be more fulfilled by it. Instead of looking outside of your relationship for the next person to recreate that initial passion, you invest the time and energy necessary to keep your relationship strong and fulfilling.
1. Prioritize Your Relationship:
Relationships require effort and intentionality to thrive. Just like plants need regular watering to grow, relationships need attention, care, and nurturing. Prioritizing time with your partner, sharing experiences, and creating memories together are crucial to building a strong foundation. Whether it’s date nights, weekend getaways, or shared hobbies, make the effort to invest time in each other’s lives.
2. Communication is Key
Clear and open communication is vital to any relationship. Good communication requires active listening, honest expression of feelings, and respectful dialogue. When you actively listen to your partner, they feel heard, understood, and valued. Healthy communication skills can help you navigate any conflict or challenge that may arise in your relationship.
3. Show Appreciation
Expressing appreciation and showing kindness to your partner is quintessential to creating a nurturing environment for growth. Show respect and kindness in your words, tone, and actions, making an effort to show your partner that you value them.
4. Be Present
When spending time with your partner, put aside phones and other distractions and focus on the moment. Show interest in their life and be attentive in your communication.
Conclusion
It’s human nature to want more and to look for the greener grass. However, the secret to a fulfilling relationship is watering the grass that is right in front of us. By nurturing and investing in our relationships, we can create a safe and loving environment, where both partners can thrive and grow. When we respect our relationships, we enjoy the fruits of a strong and enduring bond with our loved ones and get off the hamster wheel of pervasively looking for the next person to give us an emotional high or fix.
