Is Sex With Ex A Good Idea? Here’s What You Need To Know
Sex with ex is a situation I've found myself in many times. In the midst of a breakup talk. Hurt. Maybe even crying. Confused. Disappointed. Hating him, but still in love with him at the exact moment that I want the relationship to be over. The relationship is over, but unfortunately, emotions aren’t faucets that we shut on and off at will.
Things are left unsaid. Maybe there is a grey period where you both still see each other. Maybe under the pretense of trying to work through things. Maybe you have been broken up for a while. Whatever the situation is, sex looks like it could be on the horizon for you, former lovers. But is sex with an ex a good idea? Here’s what you should think about:
The reality of sex with an ex
1. It might make you feel better in the short term, but it could make things tricky in the long run.
2. You could end up getting emotionally attached again. Getting physical with your ex can reignite old feelings and emotions that you may have thought were gone for good. If you’re not careful, you could find yourself right back where you started — or even worse off.
3. There’s always the risk of getting STDs. If you’re planning on having sex with an ex, be sure to use protection! Depending on how long it’s been since you last had sex, they may have picked up something new in the meantime. You never know.
4. It could ruin your chances of getting back together. If you’re hoping to reunite with your ex down the road, jumping into bed with them off the cuff could potentially sabotage those plans. Sex complicates things — sometimes it’s best to keep things simple and platonic.
Pros and Cons of Having Sex With an Ex
Weighing the pros and cons of having sex with an ex can be tough, but it’s important to be honest with yourself about what you’re hoping to gain from the experience.
If you’re simply looking for a physical release, then there are other ways to achieve that without involving someone you’ve shared a complicated history with.
It’s so important to make sure that you are both on the same page about what you want out of the encounter, and don’t hesitate to communicate with each other about your feelings and expectations.
If either of you isn’t ready for something serious, then it’s probably best to steer clear of casually sleeping together. But if you’re both open and honest with each other, then it could be a fun and mutually beneficial experience.
When is the Right Time To Have Sex With an Ex?
You should ask yourself why you want to have sex with your ex. Is it because you’re still attracted to him or her? Or are you hoping that sex will help reignite the relationship? If it’s the latter, you might want to think twice. Having sex with an ex in hopes of getting them back rarely works out the way people want it to. It often makes things more complicated and can even lead to more heartbreak further down the road.
Establishing Ground Rules Beforehand
No matter how well you think you know your ex, it’s important to establish some ground rules before getting intimate with them again.
First and foremost, you need to be on the same page about why you’re doing this. If one person is just looking for a physical release while the other is hoping to reignite the spark, that’s a recipe for real heartache.
Be honest with each other about your expectations and make sure you’re both comfortable with whatever happens. If either of you starts to feel uncomfortable at any point, stop immediately. It’s also important to use protection, even if you trust your ex implicitly.
Before taking the plunge, you need to sit down and have a frank discussion about what exactly this would mean for both of you. Are you both on the same page? Do you both understand that this is just casual sex and nothing more? If not, then engaging in such an activity is likely only going to end up causing more pain and hurt feelings down the road.
Ways to Cope with Post-Sex Emotions
It’s normal to experience a range of emotions after sex, whether it’s with an ex or not. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are a few ways to cope:
Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. It can be helpful to communicate openly and honestly about your post-sex emotions.
Identify your feelings. Are you feeling sad, anxious, ashamed, or something else? Once you know what you’re feeling, you can start to deal with those emotions.
Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself is important, especially if you’re dealing with negative emotions after sex. Make sure to do things that make you feel good and relax both physically and mentally.
Alternatives to Rekindling Your Relationship Without Sex
It’s no secret that sex is a great way to rekindle a relationship. However, there are plenty of other ways to reignite the spark without getting physical. Consider these alternatives:
1. Plan a romantic evening together. Cook dinner, light some candles, and spend quality time reconnecting with one another.
2. Go on a weekend getaway. Get out of your normal routine and explore a new place together. This will help you feel like you’re dating again and can be very bonding.
3. Spend time talking about your relationship goals. What do you want to achieve together? Having this type of conversation can bring you closer together and help you make plans for the future.
All in all, deciding to have sex with an ex can be a complex situation. At the end of the day, it is important to consider your feelings and if sex with an ex is something that you feel comfortable doing, then go ahead. However, also make sure to keep a clear head about any expectations or issues that may arise from sleeping with them again so you can make sure you can handle whatever comes next.
Ready to supercharge your dating life? Click here for a treasure trove of resources to enhance your dating skills, boost your confidence, and find the love you deserve.
