The Cost of Sex: How Much Is a Date Really Worth?
I was recently scrolling through my IG timeline and came across this video clip, where a man is on a date with a woman and the check arrives. Right before he is getting ready to pay, he asks her if she is coming back to his place. She responds, “no”. He then proceeds to ask for the check to be split. This was intended to be a comedic post, but the reality is that this is currently a real topic. Some men and women seem to be quite confused about the cost of sex.
As I did more research into the topic, I discovered that in the most extreme cases, there are men who bill women after a date that does not lead to sex. They’ll send a woman a Cashapp request, or a text indicating the cost of the date and her portion. For example, “hey, the date didn’t end how I thought it was gonna end, can you send me x for your portion of the night?”
Men like this make me cringe. I do not even take my wallet out on a date, and I do not do the “fake reach”. I just smile when the bill comes and after it is paid, I say thank you. As a rule, I do not “put out” on the first date.
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the logic where this would even be a question. How are dinner and some drinks in exchange for sex even an equitable trade? Can we be mathematical and rational about it? Let’s also remove the idea that presumably the man requested the date. I’m not sure why a man would ask a woman out and expect her to pay for her meal, which is insulting in and of itself. But ok, this dude was raised by wolves, I digress.
Depending on where you live, let’s say your date was anywhere between $50-$200. Split that! So we’re looking at anywhere between $25- $100 per person. Right? And for that amount of money, I should be giving you the key to Emerald City? I’m not completely certain, but I’m pretty positive prostitutes get paid more than that for a few hours of fun.
I hold off on sleeping with a man until there is a connection, or until it is clear to me that this is not going anywhere. At which point, I stop seeing the man because I value my time. I do not feel any sort of obligation to sleep with a man simply because he is paying for dinner and a few drinks.
If the dinner comes with him sliding a deed to a condo across the table in my name, then, perhaps I will consider it.
The entire presumed exchange of someone thinking they should get laid after a single date screams “low value” to me. Honestly, there is a bit of a power structure in play when it comes to dating. Before a woman sleeps with a man, she has all the power. Most men will do whatever they need to do, to get what they value from a woman they desire. Wars have been waged over women and their feminine wiles, and here you have some bottom of the barrel loser thinking he deserves one the most sought after gifts, simply because he paid for a meal?
As a woman…you can always find a meal. I mean honestly, I could panhandle for dinner and cocktails including the tip, on the NYC subway! Back in the day when I was on the clubbing scene, promoters would host group dinners for women and then, take them to the clubs after. It was awesome. Free food and entertainment? All I had to do was show up looking hot. Fast forward to the present day, that’s all I do on dates, now. Show up looking hot with great conversation. I’m already giving a man an invaluable resource. My time. I don’t owe him anything else. Him paying for the date is the cost of his admission to gain access to me. Charge it to the game of dating, honey.
