Warning: Tying Relationship Status to Value is Damaging
Let’s be honest. People make snap judgments about who you are and your worth, based on your relationship status. If you are single for too long, there is a presumption that something must be wrong with you. If you are in a relationship, you must inherently be “good”, hence the adage, “all the good ones are taken”.
In reality, relationship status is a melange of options, desire, standards, timing, and other things, but not always an indication of your worthiness as a person.
I’m Not Single Because I Suck
I’ve gotten into arguments with men and the default insult was “you’ll probably die alone” or “that’s why you’re single”. Laughable because it’s not quite the insult they think it is, but I digress. Why do we use relationship status to insult people?
You’re Not Decent Just Because You’re In a Relationship
Conversely, some people feel they’ve accomplished something major simply because someone “claimed” them and committed to them. Don’t get me wrong, while I do feel like a relationship is an important milestone if it’s what you desire, it has very little precedence on your decency as a human being. In the same way, being single does not automatically equate to a person being loathsome.
Be Comfortable No Matter What Your Relationship Status Is
It’s pertinent that we stop seeking external validation for how we value ourselves. While it does feel good to be desired and loved by someone, if your self-esteem is hinged on other people desiring you, you are setting yourself up for a great deal of disappointment.
The reality is that even in a relationship, there will be lulls and times where you may not connect and see eye to eye, what happens to your self-worth then?
Having a strong belief in who you are as a person regardless of who cosigns, will infinitely increase your happiness.
Your relationship status doesn’t say much about your character or the value you hold as a person. I can think of some pretty deplorable humans who found someone to be with them for life. Conversely, some rather amazing individuals just haven’t found a partner they are compatible with.
It’s absurd to define someone by this lone characteristic. It’s important to find self-fulfillment and self-love no matter what your relationship status is.
Let’s chat in the comments.
